Me and my achin' coozy

Well, this was different.  I've done lots of training programs for people in various professions, acting a character in simulated situations, but this evening was something brand new to me.  This evening, the job was to give nursing trainees a chance to do a pelvic exam on a real live person.

I really like doing this kind of work, which feels like a more substantial contribution than my writing ever has.  I've conducted a trauma program for journalism students, played a woman watching her brother die, played a family member being approached about possible eye/tissue/organ donation, played a parent giving a hard time to community college deans, etc.  For this job, I didn't need to play a role, but only submit to five consecutive pelvic exams and give feedback (which was sometimes "Yeeouch!").

I hadn't taken into account that, because of my age and being post-menopausal, my vaginal tissue is not nearly as flexible as it used to be.  And, as any woman reading this will confirm, the insertion of a speculum is always uncomfortable and, if clumsily handled, downright painful.  I learned after the first one to ask for lubricant, which helped quite a bit with the subsequent four.

For a while during this program, I thought I might bow out of the commitment I had made to another round of exams later this month.  But really, I love doing this sort of work.  The pay is okay, not much to speak of.  But I like doing something that I know is of value to medical professionals-in-training.  It's an honor, actually, to be someone they can practice their skills on before they are let loose to work with true patients.  Tonight not so much, but most of these trainings allow me to use my acting in support of something meaningful.  

Tomorrow I'm going to play the woman watching her brother die.  I've done this program before, and it is always emotionally rich for me, which makes it a deeper experience for the trainees, who are learning how to take care not just of the patient but of the patient's loved one.  All I have to do is imagine my real brother lying in a hospital bed taking his last breaths, and I feel a grief which goes beyond simulation.  This is one of my favorite jobs of this type.  And in this one, nothing bleeds.