Snow day

It began snowing this morning, a light fluffy snow that didn't pile up much and didn't last, but still made everything look so pretty and wintery all day.  My only errand today was an appointment with a photographer to get my new headshots, but the session was canceled (Covid, not snow), so I suddenly had the day open.

Back in November I bragged about reading one day for more than one whole hour.  Today, I read all day.

Okay, not all day.  I did my Spanish lesson, did some workouts, watched an episode of "The Rings of Power" over lunch with Sweet Hubby, did some laundry.  But except for those life interruptions, I read all day.  

I can see that, especially on a day like today, it might be wonderful to read actually all day.  But that would mean giving up working out and Spanish and lunch with SH.  Laundry I can forego, but the rest I like to do.  So I guess today was as all day as I'm going to get.  It was glorious.

I taste my cookie!

Last night I did something that wasn't just new, it was practically revolutionary, in my life at least.  I took 3 of the Mint Chocolate Milano cookies Sweet Hubby had bought, and I ate all three of them very, very slowly, tasting every flavor, feeling every texture, sensing the cookie softening and the chocolate melting.

I'm a wolfer.  Without realizing it, I can power through a meal, and enjoy it but not be truly present to it.  So - when I remember to remind myself, which ends up being necessary about every three seconds - I'm going to do my best to savor my meals more, take more time, notice them more.

I can see that this blog is in large part about simply becoming more present to what is around me and inside me, becoming conscious of that which has become routine, to wake up to every part of my life.  This has become my Buddha blog.  About time I started noticing my life 

Cake and gratitude

After an excellent meal in an excellent steak house, Sweet Hubby and I decided to get dessert, which we usually forego.  The most interesting item on the dessert menu was Hummingbird Cake, which I'd heard of but never tried.  It's a three layer cake subtly flavored with bananas and pineapple, with a rich white cream cheese frosting.  So that was Something New.

But really the focus of this post is gratitude.  Given that it is the week of Thanksgiving, and to make the week about more than turkey dinner with all the trimmings and all the leftovers, I have made sure these last several days to communicate, either by phone or email, my deep appreciation to those people who have made my life better.

My first boyfriend, Tom.  He was my high school sweetheart and, for a short time, my fiancé.  I was fortunate to have him as my first love because he was and is a kind, intelligent man, and even though we were not meant to be life partners, we are still friends.  I am grateful for him.

My best male friend Bill, who has been my friend longer than anyone else outside of family.  He has an adventurous, inventive spirit and, when we lived in the same city, was constantly coming up with great ideas for what we could do for fun.  To this day, he continues to be able to make me laugh like nobody else.  Even living several states apart, we continue to stay in close communication, and next year already have a cruise to Hawai'i planned, another of his "Hey, let's do this!" ideas.

My girlfriends Christine and Teri, who have grounded and uplifted and consoled and encouraged me for more than 30 years.  I would not know my life without them.

The writing groups which have made me a better writer and a happier person.  My first group, when I and all of us were just beginning to learn our craft.  We were fortunate in our mentor and in each other.  We met regularly for 17 years, until I moved away from Los Angeles, and continue to be in touch, getting together when I go back there for a visit.  We cheer for each other's successes, critique each other's new works.  We have mourned the death of one of our youngest members.  I have no idea what kind of writer I might have become had I not had this group as my foundation.  And my current group, who bring insight, wisdom, humor, and collegiality into my life and my current work.

The group of women who came together when we all attended the same UU church, and who have stayed faithfully connected for many years now, long enough to have seen the death of one and the upcoming marriage of another.  These are my soul sisters, my sisters of the heart, to whom I can always turn for guidance and light.

Reflecting on these and the many other people who have meant so much to me, I could just about melt from joy and thankfulness.  How can any one person deserve so much goodness?  

Jeans, jeans, jeans

I really don't like shopping, especially shopping for clothes.  For some reason I'm comfortable shopping at a Goodwill or Value Village, but not in a 'real' clothing store. I often feel overwhelmed by all the possibilities, and am anxious that I won't make good choices. So it felt like a big deal when I decided yesterday to go to a mall and get some new jeans.  All of mine are tired-looking, some are stained, and I wanted to end the year with a fresher feeling about my closet.  It helps curb my shopping anxiety if I focus on looking at just one kind of item.  

I ended up staying in Macy's the whole time, tried on dozens of pairs of jeans, and finally came home with six new pairs.  Dark blue, light blue, burgundy, slim fit, relaxed fit, one with a floral design, and two pre-ripped.  I have always sort of secretly chuckled at people who wear pre-ripped pants, thinking "You're in such a hurry, you couldn't wait for them to rip naturally?"  And in a way, pre-rip is kind of a stupid idea.  In one pair, my toe kept getting caught in the ripped place when I tried them on, which, if that continued, would mean the rip would soon become a big, very unfashionable hole.  But I ended up getting a couple of pairs with the idea that I could sew on some colorful patches.  I wonder if I'll actually do that.

I hadn't taken into account that Black Friday is now a week long and so included yesterday, but fortunately there weren't any of the frenzied crowds famous for fighting and clawing and shoving one hears about the day after Thanksgiving.  And fortunately, absolutely everything was on sale.  Aren't I accidentally clever?

Almost too much chocolate

Today Sweet Hubby and I did something that I've been thinking about doing since I moved to Seattle but had never gotten around to.  There is a chocolate factory in town that offers tours, so we signed up and spent an hour or so learning about chocolate, eating chocolate, buying more chocolate, and generally having a splendid time.

The chocolate brand is Theo, a local company with excellent integrity.  The elements that go into making the chocolate are all organic and fair trade.  It was fascinating to learn, and see, how chocolate is made, from bean to bar.  I also like Theo because they put together some of the most interesting flavor combinations, such as a Gingerbread Spice, Fennel and Fig, and Turmeric Spice (which tastes sort of like Chai tea).

We tourists were given samples, of course, so right now I'm am so full of chocolate, I actually don't want any more - for now.

Happy Birthday!

When a local friend has a birthday, I like to take her to lunch and/or a movie or play, some kind of get together.  But when a friend who was recently widowed had a birthday, I wanted to make it extra special, so I suggested an all-day adventure.

We took a ferry to a nearby island and spent the afternoon having lunch at a wonderful and highly recommended Asian restaurant, went to the small, excellent art museum, and walked around the village exploring shops.  I am not usually fond of shopping, but I really got into it this day.  There were several high-end shops selling soaps and candles and candies and kitchenware and games and pot holders and all sorts of oddments.  I actually bought some soaps and jams and candies, four books that are on my reading list, as well as some cutie cute jar caps, sort of like shower caps for jars, a great green alternative to plastic wrap.

At the museum we discovered an amazing artist who works in more media than most: glass, metal, fabric, paint, wood, and she even incorporates virtual reality into some of her artworks.  I was blown away by this multi-talented woman, delighted to have been introduced to her.

My friend has vulnerable knees and back so we kept our outing to the main street of the village, but I'm now inspired to go back another day and walk further afield to explore more of the island, more of the stores and parks.  What a splendid, indulgent day, not the kind of day I allow myself very often, which I guess is part of what made it so special.

Small steps

I haven't been consistent lately about posting my Something News.  But that doesn't mean I haven't been shaking up my routines every day.  Because of this blog, I've been paying more attention to my posture, trying new kinds of fruits and vegetables, ordering different dishes at restaurants, changing up which foot or hand I do things with, taking new routes to get where I'm going, etc.  

None of these small steps have seemed worthy of sharing, though.  I feel as though I ought to be making bigger changes, trying more interesting SNs, being still bolder, exploring more.  I'll certainly do all that when schedule allows.  But in the meantime, I'm going to continue making those small changes that keep me awake and alert.

This morning I did something that for quite a while I've been thinking would be a good way to start the day.  I did a short aerobic workout to warm up, then some slow, deep yoga.  It feels so good to start the day that way.  I can only claim it as Something New this once, but intend to continue to make that my first-thing-in-the-morning routine from now on.

Feel free to share what SNs you've been trying out.

That ubiquitous pile of papers

Today I did something I've been meaning to do, wanting to do, needing to do for a long time.  I finally went through a pile of papers I've been accumulating for years under my desktop monitor.

What is on those papers are blog ideas, story ideas, bits of dialogue, possible play titles, reading suggestions, quotes, and poems.  I have always figured that I create stacks like this because I'm a writer and blogger and my fecund imagination never stops gathering and jotting down ideas.  But maybe everyone has some kind of stack of paper that gets out of hand.  

I've been putting off going through my stack because it didn't seem as important than everything else I can be doing with my time.  Also, I knew that I was going to want to keep a lot of those scribblings for later reference, at the same time recognizing that I might go to the trouble of typing them into a document and then never look at them again.  But I decided to get to the stack today because facing it every time I sit at my computer makes me feel unfinished, messy, lazy.  There is something about a clean space on a table or shelf or really anywhere at all that offers psychic space as well as physical.  I'm inspired now to clean up more of my office, gather and organize and review everything that's lying about.  I'll either rediscover useful gems of ideas or will do a lot of recycling or both.

And by the way, this morning I ate some of the chocolate persimmon I mentioned buying a few days ago.  I'd been waiting for it to soften, but instead it just started to get old and develop brown spots.  It never did get as soft as I have imagined persimmons are at their best.  So I ate a slice.  Didn't taste like chocolate at all.  Where did it get that name, I wonder?

Okay, I just looked it up, and supposedly a ripe chocolate persimmon has brownish flesh, which this one did not.  Was it not ripe?  Was it mislabeled?  Who knows?  It's one of those mysteries that are not in any way interesting enough to try to solve.

James Baldwin and me

Yesterday I did something that was so enjoyable, it practically felt wicked.  I sat down and read for more than an hour.

I'm pretty much always reading something.  Right now I'm halfway through "David Copperfield", and about a fifth of the way through Baldwin's "Another Country", which is what I was reading yesterday.  I love to read, have been a avid reader all my life.  But as an adult, it seems as though the times I read are either when I'm in bed about to fall asleep, or on public transportation, or in a waiting room, or at a restaurant eating by myself.  I almost always arrive early to wherever I'm going just so I'll have some time to read.  I truly can't remember the last time I just sat and read without being on the way to something else.

I guess reading feels indulgent because if I have time to read, then I surely also have time to do something more productive, such a housework, or running errands, or writing, or answering emails, or working out, or just about anything else.  Reading has come to feel like a luxury because it doesn't get me to produce any sort of tangible results, doesn't help the world or improve my home or blah blah blah.  It's one thing I do just for the sheer pleasure of it.

But when I think about, I'm not really being all that productive with my time when I'm not reading.  I do take care of the house and write and all that other stuff, but I also spend a lot of time at my computer just browsing around or playing word games or looking things up.  Surely reading is as profitable as any of that, and no doubt a great deal more so.  There are soooooooo many books I want to read, and I'm simply not going to get to many of them if I don't make reading a priority.

So I'm making reading a priority.  Which means spending less time in front of the computer.  Which I think is going to end up making just about every other part of life better and more sparkly. 

Snow White Who?

Last night at a Mexican restaurant, I ordered something I've never eaten before, a stew called molcajete.  It consisted of chicken and mushrooms in a strong, slightly spicy tomato broth.  Very good.

But the bigger news isn't really a one day Something New.  I have been working for a long time on a couple of my full length plays-in-progress.  Both of them are fairly serious, and I realized I needed a light-hearted break from those, so I decided to write a short play based, for no particular reason, on a fairy tale.  I used to write short plays almost exclusively; it's very easy to get them performed because there are so many theaters that produce short plays festivals.  The past few years I've been focusing more on finishing some of the full lengths plays I've begun, but it has been really enjoyable lately to work in the short form again.  Less to manage, no need for subplots, usually fewer characters.

It was a good challenge to decide on a theme (fairy tale) without already having a play in mind.  I don't know what made me think of Snow White, but once it came to me, my imagination started running right away.  This little play is about the moment when Prince Charming tells his father the King that he has met the girl he wants to marry.  The King isn't terribly happy when he hears that this girl has been living with seven male dwarves and has a vicious witch for a mother.  I haven't quite figured out how to end the play, but the body of it is coming along nicely.

New room, new fruit, and straight shoulders

For several years I've been leading a quarterly training program for UW journalism students.  The program is designed to give the students the experience of interviewing people who are going through a traumatic event.  Actors are used to play different characters involved in the scenario.  

From the beginning the program used the backdrop of an apartment fire, so that is the scenario I've been used to incorporating into conducting the training, but quite recently the circumstances of the scenario have been changed.  I led this new version on Zoom a couple of times last year, although of course Zoom is a pale imitation of face to face, in person, real life communication.

Yesterday I led the training for the first time in a classroom, in person.  But it was a different classroom than I had ever been in, so between having been away from in-person leading, and the new scenario, and the new classroom, which was bigger and therefore affected acoustics and intimacy, my confidence was even more wobbly than usual.  As often as I've led this program, I still always have a sense of dread when approaching the next training.  Once I get warmed up, I always have a splendid time, although, like most teachers, I seldom get to hear if the training had an effect on the students or was as powerful as I know it can be.

That was Something New for yesterday.

Today while I was grocery shopping I chose some different produce than I've had or even heard of before.  One is a chocolate persimmon.  I've never eaten a persimmon, having decided a long time ago, based on nothing but childish whim, that I don't care for them.  But in the name of trying new things, I thought I'd buy one, let it ripen a bit more (aren't they supposed to be soft?), and then eat it.  I asked the checker if it was called chocolate because the pulp is brown, but she didn't know, so I'm looking forward to finding out.

I also bought 3 new (to me) kinds of apples: Lemonade, Hunnyz, and Envy.  I do love living in the apple capital of the country, maybe of the world.  So many kinds to choose from.

Today's other Something New was to maintain good posture all day.  It was surprising to me that every time I thought to check my posture, I had fallen into either tightness or slumping.  All day long I kept pulling my shoulders back and keeping my head up and holding in my stomach, and then ten minutes later I'd find that I was once again either tense or slack.  I think I need to keep up this commitment to good posture for a while, long enough that it might become the habit. 

Ed Sheeran and voicemail

Last night I listened to a new Ed Sheeran CD.  I loved it.  I really wasn't familiar with ES's music, so I'm not sure why I decided to buy two of his CD's.  I was first introduced to him in the film "Yesterday", in which he plays himself.  I thought he was pretty gusty to take that role because in it, he acknowledges that he is not as good a song writer as the team of McCartney and Lennon.  I was impressed by that, and by the one short song he sings during the film.

I later noticed him in a small role in an episode of "Game of Thrones" in which he plays a soldier/minstrel.  He sang as part of that role, a period song, of course, so not very indicative of his own music.  But still, I could just tell that I would like his music, and I do.  He's one of those famous people, like Dolly Parton or Barak and Michelle Obama,  who seems as though he would be fun to be seated next to at a dinner party.  I can hardly wait to listen to the second CD, and will most likely get more of them.

Today's Something New was inspired by a book I bought recently on the advice of a very smart friend of mine.  The book is "Explore Every Day: 365 Prompts to Refresh Your Life".  I went through the book today and marked a lot of them that will help me keep to my commitment to do something new every day.  Today I recorded a new cell phone outgoing message.  It has been the same one for just about as long as I've had a smart phone, which feels like decades.  The new message isn't particularly inspired.  I recorded some versions in which I said "Leave a message unless you're a scammer, in which case drop dead."  But that felt too negative, so I kept it very simple.

I'm looking forward to taking on some of the other prompts in this book.  And now to listen to some more of my new ear-throb Ed. 

Is that my hand?

I've written already about a day when I made myself aware of how I routinely do things and then did them another way, using a different hand or foot.  On that day, which was loads of fun (not sarcasm), I gave myself a pass on writing and typing.

Today I tried controlling my mouse with my left hand.  Ack!  It was difficult and so clumsy for such a minimal movement.  The elbow on my right arm has begun to ache, so I'm wondering if some of that is the beginnings of injury from the repetitive motion of clicking.  So I used my left hand to click.

It was challenging even to figure out where to put the cords.  (My desktop mouse is corded but my laptop is not, in case you're  thinking Sweet Hubby has abandoned me in the Dark Ages of cords on, well, anything.  I'm sure he has offered to upgrade me to cordless, but I'm of the "don't change anything that I've learned how to do!" school of thought.)  It was so much more difficult than I had anticipated, which is what made it interesting. 

To quince or not to quince

Last time I went to the grocery store, in the spirit of trying something new, I bought a quince.  I've never had one before except in jelly and once as an ice cream flavor, and wouldn't have known what it was if it hadn't been labeled.  It seemed pretty hard, so I've let it sit for several days, hoping that, like pears and tomatoes, it would continue to ripen and soften.

It seemed as though sufficient time had passed, so this morning I tried to eat it.  But it was still so hard, I could barely cut it open.  I don't know if that's what it's supposed to be like, but it seemed to me it should have been just a little softer.  It was harder even than an apple.

I ate a bit, but ended up spitting it out.  Maybe it could be used to make pie, since baking softens fruit, but I think I'll just say that I gave it a try, didn't like it, and don't need to try one again.

And now I know why it is mostly used to make jelly.  As raw fruit, it's a solid yuck.     

Singing in a circle

Yesterday was another day of more than one Something New.  The first scheduled activity of the day was another nurse training program.  I played the sister of a man (played by a mannequin voiced by a man in a secluded booth) who is dying and does die during the scenario.  The idea is to give the trainees practice in taking care not just of the patient but also the patient's loved one.  I have done this scenario before and, by imagining my real brother in the bed, I'm always able to come up with a deep emotional response to the moment, which gives the trainees a lot to work with.

The training didn't start until the afternoon, but I like giving myself plenty of time to get there, so I took the train to a stop some distance away from the university where the program takes place and got some lunch.  Since I still had a fair bit of time before the program, I decided to walk through the neighborhood around the university.  I've been to some commercial destinations in this neighborhood, but was not familiar with its residential areas.  It was raining by this time, so I popped open my umbrella and walked and walked.

The neighborhood is somewhat shabby, lots of graffiti and litter, but it also has a certain charm.  It is probably one of the most ethnically mixed areas in the city, which was reflected in how the houses were decorated, what icons, symbols, or tchotchkes were in the front yards and windows, and in the people I encountered as I was walking.

The next Something New was in the evening, going to a song circle to which I'd been invited.  Song circles aren't completely new to my experience.  When I lived on the central CA coast for two years between Los Angeles and Seattle, I became part of a song circle in Santa Cruz.  A song circle is a gathering of people who get together to sing.  Pretty simple, huh?  The Santa Cruz circle mostly used a spiral-bound book titled Rise Up Singing, which contains the words and music to 1,200 songs: folk tunes, political songs, songs from musicals, pop songs from the 70's and 80's.  Usually a few of the singers would bring guitars or other instruments.  We went around the circle with everyone having chances to choose the next song.

When I moved to Seattle, I immediately went searching for another song circle as a way to connect with people in my new city.  I did find one, but the people in that circle sang folk songs so obscure that often only one or two people would know them, so I did a lot more listening than singing.

Last night's circle is being formed specifically around the idea of creating community.  The two leaders of this group had brought what they called paperless songs, which were very simple songs that could be taught to rest of us after only a couple of passes.  Every song was heartfelt and loving, songs of hope and possibility.  It was a very pleasant experience.  I do love to sing. 

Me and my achin' coozy

Well, this was different.  I've done lots of training programs for people in various professions, acting a character in simulated situations, but this evening was something brand new to me.  This evening, the job was to give nursing trainees a chance to do a pelvic exam on a real live person.

I really like doing this kind of work, which feels like a more substantial contribution than my writing ever has.  I've conducted a trauma program for journalism students, played a woman watching her brother die, played a family member being approached about possible eye/tissue/organ donation, played a parent giving a hard time to community college deans, etc.  For this job, I didn't need to play a role, but only submit to five consecutive pelvic exams and give feedback (which was sometimes "Yeeouch!").

I hadn't taken into account that, because of my age and being post-menopausal, my vaginal tissue is not nearly as flexible as it used to be.  And, as any woman reading this will confirm, the insertion of a speculum is always uncomfortable and, if clumsily handled, downright painful.  I learned after the first one to ask for lubricant, which helped quite a bit with the subsequent four.

For a while during this program, I thought I might bow out of the commitment I had made to another round of exams later this month.  But really, I love doing this sort of work.  The pay is okay, not much to speak of.  But I like doing something that I know is of value to medical professionals-in-training.  It's an honor, actually, to be someone they can practice their skills on before they are let loose to work with true patients.  Tonight not so much, but most of these trainings allow me to use my acting in support of something meaningful.  

Tomorrow I'm going to play the woman watching her brother die.  I've done this program before, and it is always emotionally rich for me, which makes it a deeper experience for the trainees, who are learning how to take care not just of the patient but of the patient's loved one.  All I have to do is imagine my real brother lying in a hospital bed taking his last breaths, and I feel a grief which goes beyond simulation.  This is one of my favorite jobs of this type.  And in this one, nothing bleeds.  

A new tunnel

Sweet Hubby and I are back from a lovely trip to Portland, OR where we saw a longtime friend performing in a play.  The play itself was the kind written as a catharsis for the writer, an unpleasant look at his childhood, which was dominated by a narcissistic, bullying mother.  Not much fun to watch, but SH and I enjoyed seeing our friend perform.  New play, new theater, so that's 2 Somethings New.

After spending the night at our friend's home, we went to the Portland indoor skydiving tunnel to try it out, something we've been wanting to do since it opened several years ago.  Something New #3.  We had brought our tunnel flying equipment (helmets, gloves, suits, etc), and let the tunnel staff know that we are fairly experienced after 12 years of flying.  The members of the staff we interacted with were all lovely and friendly.

It was different flying in this tunnel.  Although the tunnel itself is taller than the one we usually go to, the diameter is the same as ours.  But the air felt quite different from the Seattle tunnel.  Even the staff described the air as "mushy" near the netting.  And indeed, when I flew low, it was a bit of a challenge to rise up again. But that just became part of the experience, figuring out how to fly in slightly different conditions.  As we tunnel flyers often say, any flying is good flying.

SH and I enjoyed ourselves so much that we are planning to go to Portland again specifically to do some more flying in that tunnel, although, weather depending, we might also kick around the city again to see some of the sights.

All in all, an enjoyable trip, made more enjoyable by sharing it with SH.  And now I'm so glad to be home for a while.