WHG

This evening Sweet Hubby and I had dinner at an Italian place I've passed probably a hundred times but never tried in the 21 years I've been living here.  It was a good enough meal, as in good enough for once but not good enough to inspire a return visit.

The more important Something New, however, is a request I made to SH that he and I start setting aside a day every week, or bi-weekly, or once a month, for us to spend together.

SH recently instigated weekly hour-long WIG (When I'm [meaning him] Gone) conversations.  During that hour, we talk about those areas of our life which he handles (mostly finances and tech) that I would have to take on in the event he predeceased me.  He has promised I get to die first, but of course we both understand that is one promise he might unwillingly break.  These conversations are really tough, and sometimes emotional, for me, partly because they require me to pay attention to and understand things I would so much rather not deal with, but mostly because they force me to envision a life emptied of the love, affection, companionship, security, and joy he brings to our marriage.

And so I have asked that a day for us to spend together be regularly set aside, to do whatever strikes our fancy at the time.  We live in the same house and sleep in the same bed, naturally, but even so there are many days when we don't actually pay attention to each other, both of us being engaged in our separate pursuits.  And I know, with all my guts and soul, that if/when the day comes that I have to live without my SH, I will regret that I didn't pay more attention, that we didn't share more pastimes, that I sometimes listened with half an ear and looked at him with half an eye.

Right about now he might lighten the mood by saying there will come a time someday when I might be glad to be rid of him.  But we both know that will never be true.